if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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