I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
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