Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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