Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Randomize
