i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
