thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
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