She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
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