Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
