hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
