I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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