Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
