GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Is Oprah even human
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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