Say something about gay babies.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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