I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
