eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
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