yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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