The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
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The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
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She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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