Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize