I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
We talked him into tasing himself.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
