Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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