I intend to get homeless drunk
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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