That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
