Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
