hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
