We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
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