that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
