I just threw up on my dentist
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
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