Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Randomize
