i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
