I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Randomize
