why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
