Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
