There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Randomize
