my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Randomize
