"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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