Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
y did u give ur computer a hand job?
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Randomize
