I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
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