i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
