please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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