I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
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No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
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I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize