make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
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