just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
the condom got lost in my hair
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
