so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Randomize
