WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
So vagazzling was a success
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
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