Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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