haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Randomize
