I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
