he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
