i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
