So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
