Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I wish there were birth control emojis
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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