we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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