so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
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