I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
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