Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
