my sisters under your porch take her home
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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