sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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