We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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