I think my fart just growled at me.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
