false alarm. still invincible.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
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