I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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