dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
