You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
