Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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