It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
