you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
